Hey babes, welcome back! With the Spring and Summer months barging in, everyone around me seems to be getting on flights to all sorts of tropical destinations, and my Instagram & Twitter feeds are bombarded with pictures of everyone in their bikinis so I figured a post all about self-love & self-confidence was necessary.
We live in a world where social media is a huge aspect of everyone’s lives, so we are always forced to compare ourselves to others, whether we realize it or not. And although we all know that social media isn’t an accurate representation of someone’s life, its only really the highlights of it, we fall victim of that trap of comparison. So we compare other people’s “perfect” social media life, versus our not so perfect off social media life, and that can very easily hinder one’s confidence.
I wanted to write this post for two reasons. Firstly, to remind you all that people only advertise the happy parts of their lives, and edit out the sad/anxious/stressed portions. But also, to give you my guide to building and maintaining self-confidence, because these Spring and Summer months really test how we feel about ourselves.
Aaaaaaaaanyways, enough rambling, I’m going to get on with my tips when it comes to dealing with insecurities, self-love, building self-confidence and appearing as confident when you are not quite there yet.
A C C E P T A N C E // The first step to everything in my opinion, is acceptance of the situation. You need to come to terms with your life, understand what it is, accept that this is how it is and then continue to finding a solution
R E A L I Z A T I O N // Realize that this is a problem that everyone deals with. Some people are great at hiding it, however everyone goes through phases of insecurities. I promise you, that no person has a good day every day of their lives
F A K E I T // Building confidence is a process, and it cannot be accomplished by doing a single thing, and it definitely cannot happen over night. There is a quote that I like that goes like this: “Fake it till you make it”. I apply this to many situations in life, as I genuinely believe that when you fake something, you will eventually start to believe it and will slowly become that person. So if you wake up, look in the mirror and tell yourself “I’m gorgeous” or “today will be an awesome day”, you might not necessarily believe it in that moment, but it will trigger your brain into thinking more positively.
D R E S S W E L L // It’s important that you take time to take care of yourself. That means, taking time to shower, do your hair, do your makeup, wear a cute outfit that makes you feel good. When you look good, you feel good. And when you feel good, then you do good. So it’s important to put time into your appearance.
B O D Y L A N G U A G E // Posture makes a world of a difference when it comes to confidence. When you speak with your head up, and your back straight, you appear certain on what you are saying, thus people are a lot more easily convinced. So sit up tall, because it will trick people (including yourself) into thinking you are always confident in the things you say. Also, the way that you sit or stand will show people that you believe in yourself, and that you are inviting them to a conversation. Closing yourself off by having your arms or legs crossed, gives people the vibe that you don’t want them anywhere near you, or that you are not confident in yourself.
S P E E C H // Almost as important is the way you speak. Studies have shown that if you speak at a slow pace, with a loud tone, then you are speaking like a leader. This is something you should strive for, as people will take the things you are discussing, seriously.
E Y E C O N T A C T // Nothing screams “confident” more than maintaining eye contact. Looking people in the eye tells them that 1. you’re interested in what they are saying, but also 2. that you allow them to be interested in you as well. Looking away the moment someone looks into your eyes shows that you are shy, so if you wish to appear confident, maintain that eye contact!
Love yourself girl, or nobody will
– J. Cole
This is a line from a J.Cole song, and it just needed to be in this post. You need to believe in yourself, before anyone else will. You need to be your own biggest fan, before people start admiring your work. You need to love yourself, before you can allow anyone else to love you. Out of all the relationships you could have with anyone in the world, the one you have with yourself is the most important. So when you start believing in your own abilities, everyone else will too. When you feel confident in your own skin, everyone else will see it too.
I hope you enjoyed! If you did, leave me some positivity in the comments xx
~~ What do you do to build self-confidence / appear as confident?
Until next time,