I am a perfectionist. And as much as being a perfectionist is a good thing because I know for sure I will work hard to make everything I create as close to perfection as possible, sometimes it sucks. The reason for that is because when any aspect of my life falls out of the imaginary line I have created for it, I freak out. And in the rawest terms, this is what has been going on in my life lately.
In the past few weeks, lots of constants in my life have begun to become more like variables, and that genuinely upsets me because I love consistency. I love going to bed and knowing that when I wake up, things will be exactly as I left them the night before. I love getting comfortable with people and knowing that tomorrow they will be there, feeling the same way as they did when I last spoke to them. I try to make sure that I have my life on track at all times, which leads me to spend almost too much of my time writing in my planner and bullet journal, with the sole purpose of making sure nothing important stays undone.
However, as it turns out, you cannot control everything. And no matter how much time you spend preparing, life will throw you curveballs, which you better be damn prepared for or else it will screw you over. This is exactly what happened to me.
As the weather got colder, and the days became shorter I felt trapped. Trapped between all my obligations and responsibilities, ranging from school work to actual work to social life to good health, to enough sleep. I felt like I had no time left to do the things I genuinely love to do.
As much as I love to challenge myself, and try to push my own limits so I can ultimately become to best person I can possibly be, sometimes it all becomes too much. I guess what I think is going on is, I’m in a rut. I feel demotivated more than anything else. It seems like no matter how hard I try, I can’t quite reach the bar I have set for myself and that truly saddens me.
Being aware of how I feel, and having done some research on getting out of a rut, I have decided to make some changes in my life, in order to become the person who I normally am:
- Take the weekend off: I am planning to take some time off this weekend to re-collect myself, physically, mentally and emotionally. Taking the weekend off from any obligations, whether its school or work related, and using that time to relax, eat better, and get some good sleep, should have a great impact on my overall mood.
- Find motivation: Within the 48 hours of my mental break, I plan to use my resources, such as my bullet journal, my we heart it account (http://weheartit.com/hellolovelyxo), and my Pinterest (https://www.pinterest.com/itsgeorgiaxoxo/) to find motivation so that I can start the following week strong.
- Create new energies: I genuinely believe in energies, and in the idea that if you have a positive mindset and surround yourself with positive people, then positivity will come back your way. Using my resources once again, I want to create an overall fresh vibe for myself, so it will feel like a fresh start. That way I can start a circle of positive energies. This step will include putting together a playlist with newly found music, maybe moving some furniture around my room to get a new feel of the room, and perhaps a motivational board (I will make a whole post on what this is, and how to use it)
To the followers who actively follow all my posts (lmao lets be real, no one cares), I am sorry for not posting all last week. I will get back on track starting next week, with weekly posts Monday. Thanks for reading till the end, love ya♡
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Love you to the moon & back